Cite-Able

arbonboy — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:59:26 +0000

“A good man will endure all things to honor Christ, and even dispose of the whole world, and all in it, to save his soul.” – Joseph Smith, Jr. (History of the Church, 6:427; from a letter from Joseph Smith and Hyrum Smith to Abijah Tewksbury, June 4, 1844, Nauvoo, Illinois; Abijah Tewksbury’s last name is incorrectly spelled “Tewkesbury” in History of the Church.)

arbonboy — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:57:19 +0000

“Our Master is absent only for a little season, and at the end of it He will call each to render an account; and where the five talents were bestowed, ten will be required; and he that has made no improvement will be cast out as an unprofitable servant, while the faithful will enjoy everlasting honors. Therefore we earnestly implore the grace of our Father to rest upon you, through Jesus Christ His Son, that you may not faint in the hour of temptation, nor be overcome in the time of persecution.” – Joseph Smith, Jr. (History of the Church, 2:6, 23–24; from “The Elders of the Church in Kirtland, to Their Brethren Abroad,” Jan. 22, 1834, published in Evening and Morning Star, Feb. 1834, p. 135; Apr. 1834, p. 152.)

arbonboy — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:53:33 +0000

“I believe in living a virtuous, upright and holy life before God and feel it my duty to persuade all men in my power to do the same, that they may cease to do evil and learn to do well, and break off their sins by righteousness.” – Joseph Smith (Letter from Joseph Smith to the editor of the Chester County Register and Examiner, Jan. 22, 1840, Brandywine, Pennsylvania; original in private possession; the letter was published in the newspaper on Feb. 11, 1840.)

arbonboy — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 02:42:16 +0000

You can change anything you want to change and you can do it very fast. That’s another Satanic sucker-punch—that it takes years and years and eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say ‘I’ll change’—and mean it. Of course there will be problems to work out and restitutions to make. You may well spend—indeed you had better spend—the rest of your life proving your repentance by its permanence. But change, growth, renewal, repentance can come for you as instantaneously as it did for Alma and the Sons of Mosiah.

“For Times of Trouble,” New Era, Oct. 1980, 11–12; see Tambuli, Jan. 1982, 9.

The Color Changing Card Trick

arbonboy — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:48:42 +0000

Awareness Test

arbonboy — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:40:49 +0000

arbonboy — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 11:53:41 +0000

“It’s a valuable exercise to close your eyes every once in a while and think, ‘What is the most wonderful moment I have lived through during the past year?’ It might be part of a grand event or a very simple moment, perhaps a brief interaction with another person. The grand or the simple, it doesn’t matter. Just the remembering will lift your spirits, and warm feelings will fill your soul.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

arbonboy — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:39:39 +0000

Noah Building an Ark in the 21st Century

arbonboy — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:34:19 +0000

NOAH

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said:
Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.

Noah! He roared, I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?
Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, ‘but things have changed.

I needed a building permit.

I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines
and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane
to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
‘You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?’

‘No,’ said the Lord.
‘The government beat me to it.

arbonboy — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:19:30 +0000

Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.